lost?

..................i've got nothing to say but "i love u" is all i want u to know...

turning to a new leaf

i realise that im quite sensitive nowadays...what u said is true.i really need to change.It's all because of jealousy.i really need to open my heart and have a positive thinking.u have a very strong will and trust.i want that too...
when there are ppl trying to get me,u stayed calm...however,i would have think that u doesnt care if someone else take me away.another point of view,u stayed calm coz u have trust in me and u know i wouldn't fall for others.
which is which?shrugs...
we shouldn't have doubts in each other whereelse we should have trust and confidence in each other.this is wat i alwiz tell myself ...nevertheless,strong will is very important to achieve our goal.hopefully,u did not forget what is it...

J E A L O U S Y is really a very big prob.can mess up things and can ruin ones relationship.don't u agree?thinking negatively can lead to a ugly conclusion.

dear,i know u are a very good guy,a very good friend and a very good bf.a person who really cherish friendship.i know,frens are very important to u.U are Friendly to people and u will keep in touch with every single fren,either a girl or a guy.It is a good thing to keep in touch with friends and it's one of ur good point.somehow,i get jealous when u are close to girls.i know i shouldn't be and i should be lucky to have such a good bf.i truly appreciate what i have now.muaks.u have been a really good bf!!we have a future to obtain!

we can make it right

u light up my day...thank u for everything.(not forgetting,those who gave me comments) =)
im relieved,everything is back to normal now.im glad...we are still together until today.i really appreciate what i have now.although we are so far apart,im satisfied as long as i have u.having u is the greatest thing...and love that i had for u is undesribeable.u have always captured my heart..always..
No matter what happens,i hope we can really work things out in the end.this is because u meant alot to me...u know what my heart wants.i never had someone that knows me and understand me like u do...truly love u.i have found what im looking for and i wont let it go.NEVER
forever u and me and that is how it should be
love that felt so strong inside.

your love is all i wanted

haih...everything has gone.everything has been taken away from me juz like tat.it juz happened within minutes.why didnt u stop me?
i think u got the wrong msg from me.i dont mean that i don trust u or have no confidence in u.Of course i do...
i juz want to know why u act differently?after wat happened...u dont treat me normally or as usual.i felt a difference so tats y i asked u why coz i thought u were still angry of me.unfortunately,this lead to a worse situation...haih.
what difference?first of all,i replied u a very long email and i asked u many things inside..and all u replied was juz a very short one.moreover,i "manja" u inside the mail but i get nothing in return.no response...even when we chat today.i asked u,have u ever wondered what is it that kept us going on?u gave me a cold reply which is dunno.then,i told u it was the sweet memories we had together,those sweet moments and love that we gave to each other that kept us going on.in the end,i dont get any reply from u.all u said was it isnt a question.yes,it isnt a question but u juz dowan to say anything?at all?u wasnt like that!haih...u would have said something that flattered my heart.u would have said something or a response.haih...u changed or me?
i felt something was wrong...i juz wan to know wats wrong and work things out.is that wrong?u said i am sensitive..i admit that i am indeed sensitive but cant u explain to me?i juz wan to know why u have been like this after wat happened.i know what u are going to tell me.u will say "i've alr assure u many times and u juz won trust me" i know u would have say that.i trust u!!i truly do!
u have misunderstand me.u thought that i dont trust u ,u thought i was unsure whether u love me or not... is not what u think!sometimes,i felt some difference and i juz wan to assure everything is alright.i cant juz leave it like this right?even if u are sad...i cant juz leave u like this isnt it?i wan to share everything with u!are u going through stress?i really think u have misunderstand me.im juz being observant??i want to be there for u like no one else before.u are special to me...so maybe im more sensitive in everything?
besides,we are so far apart...haih.if im with u now,we would have settled everything!or this prob will never arise at all.
MY WISHES FOR NOW
~ i dowan to break up with u
~ i want u to wait for me to go over so that i can stay with
u and be with u as long as i can
~i want time to go fast so i can go over to uk and be with u
~ i want u to share everything with me..talk to me...

my life will be meaningless without u...all i wanted is ur love.
one thing which i never get enough is ur love.(u know that)

now,i hope everything will be ok.haih..i really dont know what will happen next.all i can do now is pray hard...i know u very well.once u think negatively,everything will be gone.i almost lost u once and i dowan it to happen again.i've tried how it feels like and it was terrible!i felt like dying...
i really dowan it to happen again...i really hope u will think things again...

i hope u wont leave me...
im sure u know why i put this balloon as a picture.theres a msg written on a paper,tied up with the balloon and we let it go on that very special night.it really meant alot to me...

feeling glad

reached college...i was nervous as i walked towards the notice board where our results will be pasted there.looking for my name and there is it!77 marks!total disaster...haihz.at least i did not fail.however,was quite disappointed with my marks.anyway,over is over..yipee!!aiksss..don so happy yet coz have more exams to come!val,keep up the good work!hehee..

im glad that me and u are alright now.everything has settled and back to normal...felt relieved and a little bit of joy.why?because i realise that im very lucky to have such a good and understanding bf.i will appreciate u and alwiz love u.u will be so busy nowadays...its ok dear.i will wait for u.mum asked me to try finding work in uk.so if i can find then i can stay with u!cant imagine how wonderful it will be..was talking bout me going there next year.I CANT WAIT TO GO UK AND STAY WITH U!!!!!!!!!!!!so niceeeeeeee..are u excited??I AM!juz imagine..i can be with u everyday!eat with u,sleep with u,have fun together,cook together...do everything together!and.....(u know what)i juz cant wait for the time to come when i can be with u again.then we will stay happily ever after juz like fairy tale!time oh time...faster go!GO GO GO!!!im the luckiest person on earth!!having u is the most wonderful thing in my life!muaaaah!!!!!!!

gloomy day

what a gloomy day i have today...i totally screw up in my test 3!!!arghhhh...it was totally a disaster.all those tricky question...i lost alot of marks.well,result is out tmr.i hope i pass!!even the smartest student juz got 60+ which is cukup makan only.60 was the passing mark.haih.im disappointed with myself.i should have done it better.i was in dilemma choosing the right break point.there was 2 place in my mind and i chose the wrong place!thats the end of everything.0 marks for me.haih..stress..

dear told me that u dunno whether u love me or not.haih.i was really shocked and sad of wat u said.u were unsure.haih.later,dear told me that u was angry that's why u said that.i trust u.i hope it is true...
im sorry for hurting u...it was my fault.
hope our problem is settled and i really love u dear..truly,madly,deeply...
i hope u feel the same way too...

sad..haih..sorry

i dowan to argue with u!!!!!!!!argh!!haih.i really dowan to argue with u!why are we arguing?haih.sorry dear.im just jealous that u are going out with girls!moreover,going to a theme park enjoying with them!i cant imagine,girls hugging u and screaming.will that happen?taking advantage on u?i will kill them i tell u!!!HANDS OFF MY BF!!!
sorry dear...i hope we can settle things together..

am i important to u?

haih..i am very sad.u don't care of me at all...i msged u and said u don need me and i waited for ur reply.unfortunately,my phone don even have a beep!WHY?is it because im not important to u at all?u dont care anymore?having me or not is no big deal?u dont feel a thing?haih..or maybe the reason u didnt reply me is because u really don need me at all...sad..really sad.
later,the next day,u msged me...but u didnt answer or say anything at all.anything about needing me.NO!W H Y ?haih..perhaps u really don't need me at all..What am i suppose to think?what am i suppose to dO?TELL ME!where am i situated in ur heart?i really want to know...haih..
im really sad...will u still care for me?haih... ='(

thanks for ur comment!

danielle,
thanks for posting a comment...wow,ur comment is super long!!hehe.anyway,i know how u felt right now.don't worry,no one knows about this blog.ur secret is SAFE!no worries alright?it's time for u to change...glad that damn bug knew he was a pest!!totally an insect which don have a heart at all!!agree?probably he breathe using his er...abdomen?what is it called anyway?who cares?hehe.
u totally spoiled him!why u still wanna care for him as he doesnt anymore?i know it's love.i know u really love him alot but he doesnt!that's the problem.look at the way he treated u!u should know how he treated u.to me...it is really bad!BAD!BAD!BAD!be strong and show him what u got!what are u worrying?u are only 18!!!yes,i understand that u love him very much.Maybe he is not the mr right?nahhhh..definitely not i tell ya..Not to hurt u but look!!what he did?will he change?be happy my dear fren...all of ur frens dont wan to see u sad.don worry,me and cherish will always be by ur side!!Let bygones be bygones! =)stay happy ya...

i wonder

sometimes..i wonder.do you really love me?thinking about it..i know u do love me.After everything we had gone through together.Of course you do love me..Don't you?why you stopped blogging already?everyday,i will see what you have updated because you said it was dedicated to me.But it has not been updated for ages!Is it because you don't love me anymore?WHY?you are too busy??it's ok if you are..but please tell me..you know im sensitive in all these stuffs...haih.
nowadays,you are so busy.i wonder,have you ever stopped and think of me?have you ever wonder how i felt over here?have you ever understand??have you tried thinking from my point of view?i know you will be very angry if you read this...I hope you are not angry of me when you read this.Just dunno who to turn to..and also,you are always busy..don't really have time for me to tell you.
are u thinking of breaking up with me?because i complain so much...haih.i hope u dont think that way.all i want is juz some time with u.some time for me to love u as we are already so far apart.All i can do is love u from afar..what else can i do?but to care for u from afar.I do care about you alot.i hope u wont think negative things.DONT U EVEN DARE TO THINK OF LEAVING ME.because i wont leave you!!!U HEAR ME?!im not asking you to leave me.i know you don have time.i understand....we have argued bout this.i hope this problem has been solved.i juz dowan you to think otherwise.i hope u will find time for me...even if u don have..i promise i will wait for u.i love u so very much dear...

having difficulties

aiksss..having difficulties in this.not to sure how to do this and that..i hope i can manage it later.hehe.this will be a place for me to vomit out all my complaints..hehe.oh well,how much can i complain?i cant complain everyday u see..hehe..
here it goes...