too little time

I remembered clearly that i wanted time to fly fast when i was at my young age ... about 10 yrs old. When i reach 14, i was so impatient to finish high school. Then comes 15 yrs old... I met my bf in high school ... got together happily until I was 17th, he needed to further his studies in The UK. I was well prepared and ready to accept the fact until he flew on that very day... cry like mad! Whatever it is, i still need to go through it. Sigh, have been this way until today... you are flying back to UK for your final year. I thought this time i will have the chance to go over with you... Nevertheless, have already prepared myself and feeling excited until my visa application got turned down. All my dreams was shattered and I didnt dare to think any further. Didnt want to pursue any further as I know it is just a waste of time. sigh... another disappointment. Now I am 20 and i felt like time is flying too fast. It was like I only see you for a week instead of a month.... was it too little time or time is just running fast? which is which?

I didnt want to go to the airport because I know i cannot control myself, tears and I will become emotional on all things. Im sorry and im not being a bad gf. I just couldnt bear the pain to see you go... to see you check in and walk down the escalator to the boarding gate. I do not know how many more years I have to wait or how long more i have to wait just to see you and to be able to feel you again .. IN REAL! Now I have to depend on the electronic devices. AIKS!

Here, I would like to express . . .
Thanks for everything ! Especially the amount of effort and money you have put in. I appreciate all of it and I hope I can do something better in future so that you will not think that im useless.
Plus,
Love that 1 week!!! Duration of 1 week is never enough for me!

MATTA fair is over... What a relieved... !!! work loads have been slowing down... hope to catch up with my friends soon.

Anyway, next destination will be to CAMBODIA + VIETNAM. Twin countries . . . Interesting!!! Yet .... stressful... sigh. I need some energy to boost up my confidence! never been leading tour for quite some time... sudah berkarat... and now I have to shine it back... don have the urge to go anymore... yikes! bad sign bad sign... I need support! =(